1. Bericht Rabea Schömann 26.02.2011

My fist impression about Ananya Trust and Indian in generell

I leaf throug my hardly written diary. Actually my plan was writing every day into it. Later at least one time in the week. But to be honest the time doesn’t allowed me to think about what happened let alone writing…

Since I am in India I am just doing…

During my first month I realized that the “fireflys – camp”  was quite good and helpful. In comparison to volunteers from other organisations I felt more sensitive and prepared about special situations. For example: You ask for a speciall activty at a speciall time. Because of the answer ‘Yes’ you think you can do everything alright. But suddenly everthing has changed and the people you asked just shake there heads: left ear to left shoulder, right ear to right shoulder and repeating this. You felt like, no, this was actually not the plan.

To had the lection that a ‘ Yes’ can mean ‘Yes’, ‘No’ and ‘Maybe’ or ‘ I am not interessted in what you are saying’ – was probably one of the importanst lections.

But now to my Project: ANANYA TRUST.

I feel very happy to be placed in a project like this. The school is not very big. In the moment there are around 53 children studing in Ananya. ( This feels a little weard, that no one can say the exactly number of the students )

But this is a good number of children to get more deep in contact with. At the beginning I just saw a lot of smiling faces and playing children, but after a good month I know more about what is actually behind the facade and I try to deal with what kind of destiny some children have and try to understand how they handle their lifes.

With the little children it’s very easy to be ‘friends’ and spend time together with them. They are really curious and sociable. Get in contact with the elder ones is more difficult. The Boys from 15 up to 17 years seem to be a little in their own world, they often solve conflicts by beating. And the older girls up to18 seem to be a little closed. Maybe because there are just 3 years between them and me and I’m now in a position where I tell them what they have to do. Another reason could be that they have a lot of studies to do for their final exams.

The teachers are openmindet people, who try to find the best place for each child, how it individual fits best in society. This is a never ending learning process for the teachers.

Almost every child comes from a familiy with a bad background. I was happy to join four teachersmeetings, where we had visit from two psychologists from Great Britian. We all learned more about whats going on with our kids and how we can act in a better way in some difficult situations.

Sometimes it feels a little hard to understand them all day long or to be there for them as a good role idol. Especially, because I am around the kids 24h. I havn’t manage yet to find time for myself during the week. Because there is no speciall time for when you are working and when you are supposed to be free. This is something I have to discuss in future with the teachers.

That means the actually work isn’t that hard, but also when I’m just there spending time with the kids I am on. Or when I am 10 minutes with Anni ( another volunteer girl from Danmark ) in my room I feel bad because life outside goes on and feel like I need to do something.

What we also discussed on “fireflys – camp” was  that Indian-people don’t like to criticise. That is a point thats really not easy to handle for me. A long time I was not really sure what are the expectations of the teachers about me and what I am supposed to do here. Maybe it is still a little bit like this. I would wish more things would be clear, so that I can do a satisfying work.

But a reason for this could also be that we are 5 Voluteers at this moment. An older couple from Danemark, Anni (Icde), Moritz (Icde) and me. And it is very easy to spend a lot of time with this guys, because we are sharing similar situations and feelings. I often feel sorry about this, off course I notice that we close our circle and maybe I sometime lose chances to get more closer with the Indian-people around me. Notice this is good to change behavior in the future.

Nevertheless I feel that I am arrived in India, arrived back in reality!

First time everything that happend here was new and exciting. It is still exciting but things become a routine. So I don’t stare any longer at peoples faces on the streets and in buses, and they don’t stare at me any longer, or at least I don’t recognize it that much. So far I can say I am getting used to be a white person in a brown-peoples-world. Sometimes I feel I am  part of it all and I flow with the mentality. Sometimes I feel very loney and worthless. Especially after a day in the city, when every other rikscha-driver drives slowly next to you and all sellers stand up just for you and call you: madame, please have a look… Then I know I am different and it will never stop, since I can’t change my skincoulour.

But so good I can, I try to be a part. I love wearing Indian dresses, my green Kurda. I love how to move in indian trousers: It is a very slow and waving style of movement. I love that I did a nosepiercing here and wearing the black small bindis between my eyebrows on my forhead. Kajal and earrings become to my necessary daily pattern.

I start to enjoy driving bus, indian-music-sounds out of every other mobilephone doesn’t disturb my consantration any longer on my new book ‘my friend Sancho’ by Amit Varma.

Watching stars between the coconutpalm during the night is a amazing picture.

What I miss, time for my own to come down and reflecting the day.

But to write this report was a kind of reflecting the last weeks. And I am quite sure I could write much more about all. But this should be enough for the beginning.

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